Love is one of the most exciting, rewarding and satisfying of human experiences. Whether it is the love of family, friends or romantic love, it is a great human experience. Just as high as one might feel at the tip of that love, the lows can be devastatingly painful when it is time to let go that loved one.
Have you ever had a first love? I’m sure most of us had a first love or crush. With that special person you may spent good times and you didn’t want to let him go. Ever tried to let go but couldn’t, because you always wanted them there when no one else was; when it rains, when you were sad, or when you were scared.
Everyday when you wake up in the morning, you are a new person. What completed you yesterday may not complete you today. Though it’s hard to believe, letting someone go whom you love the most and consider that person as best for the current you. Sometimes we have to let go that person. Letting go is the next step to your happiness, which is all that matters.
Whether it is needed to let go because they are not loyal or don’t love you now or because it is time to move on from the relationship. You should be sad what was lost but accept the truth. It will help you to heal your pain faster. Recognize your emotional limits, but don’t isolate yourself as you let someone go, heal from the loss.
The process of letting go of someone you love is one of life’s most painful experiences. When you have invested a considerable amount of time and emotional energy in someone, the prospect of living without them may be unbearable. You may look back on the memories you shared, the plans you made. If you are newly broken up, envisaging a new future may feel close to impossible. You may find yourself in pain and emotional dilemma.
Every relationship is unique, and there are many reasons why breaking up may be the kindest solution for all. Maybe you discovered as time went on that your values and dreams did not align. At first you may have hoped that you could overcome your differences, but in the end they drove you apart. Sometimes, love just isn’t enough and you come to the sad conclusion that it’s time to part ways. Perhaps you love one another and even revel in your differences, but seem unable to communicate or resolve conflict. Maybe you had to end the relationship for another reason entirely. Whatever the trigger, the emotional fallout will be considerable. This is completely normal. Be kind to yourself, and expect a period of emotional turbulence.
Think of it like a giant boulder that is tied to your leg. You cannot move forward as you drag that boulder behind you. You wish that it would be separated form you or it become invisible. Cutting the ties to that boulder is the only way that it will ever become invisible. It seems like such a simple thing, but anyone who has ever had that boulder tied to them knows the real struggle of letting go. It is that struggle that makes the final release feels so free, so positive in life, and it is what makes us stronger.
If we do not learn to let go then we are asking for trouble. Holding on to someone that has to let us go is unhealthy. This behaviour is not only mentally unhealthy but can be physically unhealthy as well. Stress is the silent poison that sneaks up on even the strongest of persons and breaks them down. Holding on to someone that has let us go puts our bodies in a constant state of stress, which leaves us vulnerable to every creepy, crawling germ out there.
Letting go of a person involves letting go of hope. We may have believed this person to be our soul mate, or at least someone upon whom we could rely to stick around for a long time. It can be really difficult to face the harsh reality that we need to carve out a new path for ourselves, and allow the other person to do the same. You may be feeling lonely, even when surrounded by friends and family who want to comfort you. If you can, allow yourself to be nourished by their support.
Taking the momentous decision to let go of someone you love is a brave step. In doing so, you are proving to yourself that you are capable of creating your own happiness and that you do not need to rely on someone else to make you feel as though life is worth living. In evaluating your relationship, deciding that you would be best off apart and then letting them go. When you have the courage to move on from a relationship that isn’t working, you are proving that you deserve the best life and that you are confident that with time you can move on to a more constructive relationship.
Letting go of harmful relationships allows you to move forwards a brighter future. Remember the old saying,
“If you love someone, let them go.
If they return, they were always yours.
If they don’t, they never were.”
If you look deep within yourself, you will realize that in freeing yourself and the other person from a relationship that is holding you both back; you are helping two people to create a happier life. In this way, letting go of someone you love can be an act of supreme care and kindness. Every relationship can teach us something, and occasionally the whole purpose of a relationship may come only when it ends.
Although it may feel as though as your world is ending when you break up with someone you love, over time you will realize that you are merely embarking on a new beginning. Let the lessons you have learned from your interactions with this person serve to guide you in forming healthier relationships in the future, and rest assured that you can and will find love again. See this painful period as a step closer to getting what you really need and want from life.
The old saying that life is short is undeniably true. We can either spend our lives being miserable, holding on to poisonous relationships and persons or make this life one that has been lived to the fullest. Taking the time to work through the barriers that keep us tied to someone who has turned away from us is one step in creating a life that has been well lived.
Fear of letting go and moving forward is another problem that many of us encounter even if we are not aware of it. We are creatures of comfort that comes from a habit that has been built over time, and undoing that habit is frightening as it takes us out of our comfort zone. In reality that zone is not that comforting and in fact it can be very painful. Facing reality is just one step to letting go and healing.
Making goals, short term and long term, can give us direction. Replacing the old habit of loving someone who does not return the emotion with a habit that is beneficial to our health and our lives is an excellent way to recover from the heartbreak. Be strong, be vigilant, and one day you will wake up and you will be happy. You will find a calming peace within yourself, the moment that you do let go. Your time and life will be your very own to do absolutely anything that you put your minds to, once you leave the poisonous thoughts that consume behind.
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